[Review] Moero Crystal H – Nintendo Switch

Written by Joachim Ziebs
  • Developer: Idea Factory, Compile Heart
  • Publisher: eastasiasoft
  • Release Date: 17/09/2020
  • Price: £34.99 / $39.99
  • Review code provided by Eastasiasoft
  • Version reviewed: 1.0.0

Introducing: Moero Crystal H Switch Review

Make no mistake: Moero Crystal H is, like its predecessor Moero Chronicles Hyper, a game centring around fanservice. It’s a dungeon crawler RPG featuring a lot of (that means 80+) scantily clad monster girls of various proportions and in various stages of, aehm, undress. Befriending and making those girls happy is one objective of the game, the other one being, quite naturally, saving the world from extinction.

In the beginning the Goddess created the world filled with humans and monster girls. She gave earth to the humans and various floating islands to the girls. To secure everlasting peace between the two species, she then created the Panties of Light and the Bra of Darkness gifting the panties to the humans and the bra to the monster girls. Those two divine gifts should never be separated, for in this case the world would be annihilated, and they are therefore kept together in the capital’s Great Shrine.
Enter you, Zenox, a country bumpkin searching for his father. As you stumble into the temple, a thief called Dark Ottonias manages to steal the Dark Bra and you get to be the prime suspect. But fear not, in a matter of sentences everything gets cleared up and you’re on a merry goose chase trying to catch the thief.
If by now you haven’t already realized: the “story” of Moero Crystal H is not Man Booker or Nobel Prize worthy. It’s there to offer a backdrop for the gameplay mechanics (and, if I may be so bold, on which the artists could paint the aforementioned scantily dressed girls.)

Etrian Odyssey with Anime Tiddies

To get back the Dark Bra and save the world you follow the thief through six individually themed areas. All of those are classic dungeon crawler fare and each consists of several floors. A floor is a 20×20 grid full of strange enemies, harvest points, chests filled with riches, amulets, potions etc. There are holes in the floors letting you fall down onto otherwise hidden floors. There are mazes in which neither your mini-map nor the full map, which get drawn automatically as you explore, will work. There are locked areas and corresponding switches and levers. And there are harder enemies roaming the floors: monster girls who are under a dark influence and must be saved by you.

To save them, you have to beat them in a fight first. All battles in Moero Crystal H are turn-based and the order of turns is determined by your Agi stat. Nothing too surprising here. What shakes up the battle system is the fact that you, the hero, don’t fight. Your actions are different: You can store your desire. You can release your desire onto a monster girl in your party which will then strengthen her next attack. You can use an item from your inventory. You can wait doing nothing or you can try to run away. That’s all. No attacking of any kind.
The monster girls in your party, up to five positions are waiting to be filled, can use a physical attack, use a skill, defend or charm the hero. Sorry, Zenox, but you’re only useful as a strategic supporter in this game.

Saving and befriending a monster girl first involves attacking and destroying her clothing. Then you’ll be tasked with finding her three Pits of Darkness by rubbing and scratching various parts of her body and thus filling up three darkness gauges. (Nice utilisation of the Switch’s touchscreen, here!) Manage this before the time runs out and you’ll save the girl and add her to your roster.

It’s an Adult Monster Collection Game!

You’ll want to have as many monster girls as possible on your roster, because each of the girls in your party can select two other girls as companion: one attack support and one skill support. Needless to say that each girl has a different skill set forcing you to create good matches. For example, a girl attacking after you used a wind skill would be a bad match for a girl limited to earth attacks.

Speaking of monster girl skills, it is necessary to note that these can be changed by offering them different panties. Each of the girls has four of them, but only one of them is available to you from the beginning. The other ones must be found in the dungeon areas, acquired after defeating certain monsters or found within the girls themselves.
Yeah, you read correctly. Within each monster girl there are three hidden crystals. You can find them by playing the Doki-doki mini-game. Each crystal then let’s you enter a dungeon deep within the girl. In the dungeon corresponding to the panty-shaped crystal, you’ll find one of them.
If you think this is weird, bullseye! But it’s still fun in all its weirdness.

Colourful eyes and sugary ears

As would be expected of a game like Moero Crystal H, the anime artstyle of the monster girls is perfectly detailed. Rest assured though, as there is absolutely no full nudity. At least a square inch of cloth or tiny clouds of fog hide certain bodily details.
The surroundings are equally colourful and varied enough. Of course you’ll have repeating tiles in the different areas, but this normal in a dungeon crawler. The level of detail is fine, if a tad less detailed than the ones in PersonaQ, for reference. But perhaps this is only my memory.

Each area of the game has a different theme and the soundtrack changes accordingly. It’s pleasant and engaging as is the Japanese voice acting. The latter is a bit shrill at times, but that’s what the volume setting is for.

Bug monster girls?

There are some strange bug-based monster girls to fight and befriend, but none of the game crashing fiends could be found.

Conclusion

The amount of care, planning and details that went into the fanservice of this game (Trust me, I didn’t even mention half of it in this review!) is breathtaking. And I’m not talking about about the graphics/imagery here.
The way the mechanics of this game are set up does any dungeon crawler justice. Plastering titillating covers on all of this without smearing smut all over it must have taken a lot of care. Sure, the line between classy erotic and ugly vulgarity has been reached at times, (depending on who you ask of course) but never crossed.
In short: What Doom is for over the top brutality and violence, Moero Crystal H is for over the top fanservice.

PROS

  • it’s all about the fanservice (If that’s what you’re looking for.)
  • intricate and detailed game mechanics
  • hilarious and ridiculous story

CONS

  • it’s all about the fanservice (If that’s not what you’re looking for.)
  • some quality of life features would have been nice, e.g. teleportation once you’ve cleared an area

Verdict
Moero Crystal H is the gold standard of fanservice games and a really good dungeon crawler, too!

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