[Review] Drink More Glurp – Nintendo Switch

Written by Kevin Orme
  • Developer: Yogscast
  • Publisher: CATASTROPHIC_OVERLOAD
  • Price: $9.99 / £7.99
  • Release Date: 06/08/2020
  • Review Code provided by CATASTROPHIC_OVERLOAD

Introducing Drink More Glurp Switch Review

Every so often I see people on Youtube playing what can only affectionately be called “Rage Games”. You might know these as Getting Over It with Bennet Foddy, QWOP, Pogostuck and so on so forth. These games are meant for a specific reason: To make you mad and, more importantly, to be fun to watch. It makes sense! I love watching Markiplier scream so hard he breaks his chair while hours of hard work are immediately flushed down the toilet. It’s a simple joy and I find that I like it a lot more because I’m not the one who is suffering.

So you can imagine my unbridled joy as I fired up Drink More Glurp, the newest game from Yogscast that asks the simple question: What if you had to perform in the Olympics, but you only had big noodle arms?

Let me tell you, it doesn’t end well.

Clawing Your Way to Victory

You are a big round person with two long arms. These arms are your only method of transportation which you must use to perform your best in the Olympic-style events placed before you. These games, sponsored by Glurp (MAXIMUM COLOUR, ZERO TASTE) sometimes add in various other sponsors to modify your movement. Items like turbo gloves, explosions, etc. Your goal is to get the gold medal in every event (you know, like you want to do in Olympic events). Gold medals give you more unlockables as well as a sense of accomplishment. Hooray!

But ya see, it’s here that we have a problem. I’m gonna paraphrase GrandPooBear, a Twitch streamer, on the topic of difficulty vs fun:

If the game is hard, that’s fine. A lot of great games are hard. But if the game is not fun to play every time that you fail, the game ends up being a chore to play and people lose interest fast.

This is how I feel about Drink More Glurp. I’ll go into this as the review moves on, but it’s not fun to fail. I don’t think this game was built to be a ‘rage game’ like I was talking about at the beginning of all of this. I think it was built to be a crazy party game to see your friends look like idiots while you tried to do relatively simple things. Like Octodad! But this really doesn’t hit that mark. And a lot of that has to do with…

Epic Flail

Now, hear me out here. I understand the following things:

  • This game is intentionally hard to precisely control
  • You are supposed to get mad at this game
  • If this is your ENTIRE GAME MECHANIC you need to make it worth the player’s time.

The controls are extremely simple, but nearly impossible to use to any degree of what they are intended for. You use each control stick to control a different arm and you can also use the R and L triggers to grab things for specific events. It SEEMS simple enough, but it’s the implementation that kills the joy for me. See, let me explain what the frustration with the controls are like. Imagine that you’re running the 100-meter dash except sadly your body decides to not lift one of your feet as you near the finish. Instead of having the momentum of your body pull you forward, it’s as though your foot is now nailed to the ground, halting your body completely and ruining all of your happiness. THAT is how this game works.

It’s not fun. Like, at all. The entire premise of “it’ll be funny to see this big dorks flap around a track meet and see how bad they fail” is great for a few minutes… until you start playing it. This game feels unfulfilling and peaks my rage rating I can give to games. Not a good time.

Points for Technique

The game runs fine. It’s literally the last thing I thought about while I played this game. It never crashed. Multiplayer was fine. And I was mad about it every step of the way. The game didn’t glitch and ran great.

Finish Line

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Every time I tried to get into Drink More Glurp I was shown a whole new experience of frustration and grief. Not the good kind of rage that makes you want to play it until you get it. It’s the kind of rage that makes you want to scream and delete the game from your console.

Pros

  • You will know exactly how you feel about this game within seconds
  • The humor is decent

Cons

  • It’s a Rage game that isnt fun to play.
  • Immediately ruins your good mood after 30 seconds

Verdict

Run. Run far away. Not with your arms, but with your feet. Like a regular person.

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