[Yesterday’s News Today] Insert Animal Crossing Clickbait Here

Written by Abram Buehner

This week’s installment of Yesterday’s News Today features a tantalizing mix of legitimate discussion and satirical degeneracy. Please enjoy.

Animal Crossing New Leaf 2: Electric Boogaloo

A new update for Animal Crossing: New Horizons is on… the horizon. However, I wish I could fire it directly into the event horizon (NOT THE MOVIE) because it isn’t really a “new” update. Actually, it’s just a bunch of recycled New Leaf content that should’ve been in the game from day one. Fireworks, Dream Suites, this stuff is cool, but how about some actually new ideas? What if the developers added an update where you could organize a revolution on your island, oust Tom Nook, seize the means of production, and give people as many home upgrades ands giant robot statues as their hearts desire?

…or they could add farming. That would be cool too.

The Following is Just an Opportunity to Talk about Clubhouse Games

Source: Nintendo

Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics recently received a patch, not that it does anything of actual consequence. Frankly, there’s no reason for me to talk about this. I just wanted an excuse to advocate for Clubhouse Games, as it’s the best title Nintendo has released on the Switch this year. Well, it’s my favorite, at least, and as the grand arbiter of taste, I make the rules.

*Serious Commentary Alert*

It’s simply a glossy, well-produced and curated assortment of games that is propped up by a surprisingly good online infrastructure. My girlfriend and I are quarantined on opposite sides of the country at the moment, so we’ve been playing plenty of Clubhouse Games online together, which has been a great addition to our roster of virtual dates. The package doesn’t have the same ambition that the lion’s share of Nintendo’s first party output does, but that doesn’t undercut its value. There’s a simplicity and elegance to the game that resonates – on top of my personal attachment to it – and makes Clubhouse Games a compelling purchase.

*Serious Commentary Continues*

Source: Twinfinite

Nintendo has found itself embroiled in a series of leaks that have been escalating in their breadth and damage. The past few years have seen full Switch games leaked, but the so-called Giga-Leak has encompassed design information, source code, and personal information from much of Nintendo’s history. In some respects, as a fan, it’s engaging to see canned concepts and source code.

But, I can’t shake the fact that this information was obtained illegally, is bundled with personal information, and will directly hurt the people who work at Nintendo. Additionally, leaks always affect smaller outlets like Nintendad, impacting our ability to work with Nintendo, purely due to a completely understandable fear of leaks on Nintendo’s behalf. Certain aspects of these leaks are compelling, but the larger context just feels icky.

*Serious Commentary Crescendos*

Source: Viz Media

In much more upbeat news, Viz Media is translating and publishing the lovingly-titled Ask Iwata. The book, as relayed by its Amazon listing, will focus on the following:

In this motivational collection, Satoru Iwata addresses diverse subjects such as locating bottlenecks, how success breeds resistance to change, and why programmers should never say no. Drawn from the “Iwata Asks” series of interviews with key contributors to Nintendo games and hardware, and featuring conversations with renowned Mario franchise creator Shigeru Miyamoto and creator of EarthBound Shigesato Itoi, Ask Iwata offers game fans and business leaders an insight into the leadership, development and design philosophies of one of the most beloved figures in gaming history.

I have always, and will always, consider Satoru Iwata to be a role model. I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on this book. It’s available for preorder here, ahead of its launch in April 2021.

Speedrunning Pokémon Stories

Source: Nintendo

Okay, enough of this “serious news discussion.” Let’s rapid-fire some Pokémon headlines that I simply cannot be bothered by. First, Nintendo Switch Online members can play Pokkén Tournament DX for free starting on July 29th until August 4th. Having been equally underwhelmed by the game on Wii U in 2016 and on Switch in 2017, I find it punishingly difficult to care. Second, Pokémon Go saw its best single-day revenue on July 25th with a bone-crunching 8.9 million dollars spent. Wow, wow, and for added emphasis, wow. That almost makes me want to jump back in and see what the fuss is all about. But, I live in a rural area. Did that ever get addressed?

Is that an Analogue Pocket in your Pocket or are you Pocket Pocket Pocket?

Source: Analogue

The word pocket no longer looks real to me, but I have no one to blame but myself. I will have Analogue to blame, though, when I spend $300 on their new handheld device next year. The Analogue Pocket is a gorgeous little device that plays Game Boy, Game Boy Color, and Game Boy Advance cartridges out of the box. No emulation here, it’s legitimate hardware and wizardry.

That wizardry is probably more like black magic, as the Analogue Pocket and be docked to your TV, where Bluetooth controllers can be paired to it for big-screen gaming. It’s basically a Switch for retro handheld gaming, and it’s so sleek and so cool and I want it and preorders go live on August 3rd and I can’t wait for launch and it’s so well designed and I’m running out of proverbial breath. This thing is sick. Check out Analogue’s official site for even more details.

With that said, we’ve reached the end of this installment of Yesterday’s News Today. Was reading this a good use of your time? In the words of Marie Kondo that I’ve taken wildly out of context, did this spark joy? Let me know in the comments, unless you don’t think this was a good use of your time and it didn’t spark joy. I only want to be affirmed. See you next week!

Leave a Reply